


Sierra Burgess Is a Lesbian

by goeunchan



Category: SBIAL, Sierra Burgess - Fandom, Sierra Burgess Is a Loser
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, sierraxveronica, slowburn, this is the content i wanted and the content i didnt get mkay, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goeunchan/pseuds/goeunchan
Summary: In which Sierra and Veronica realize they have feelings for each other. aka the story we deserved.A taste of this fic, now that I've written that part:"Without warning, she leaned over to Sierra, her golden ponytail swinging in the light, and she pressed her lips against the other girl’s. She smelled good—like lotion, or skincare, or high-end makeup—although that wasn’t a surprise because she always smelled like she was putting in effort. Sierra, on the other hand—she wondered, distantly, if *her* aroma was of cheap shampoo and thrift store clothes and just *human*. And then her lips—Veronica’s were soft against hers, careful and easy, a thin, uneven coat of the day’s lipstick coming undone. "





	1. Sierra Burgess Is a Catfish

**Author's Note:**

> This fic starts during Veronica and Jamey's date, so everything that happens after that in the movie isn't a part of this story. First chapter is super short!
> 
> ~~create the content you wish to see in the world~~

"Kiss him," Veronica mouthed, a barely audible whisper escaping into the air. She was covering Jamey’s eyes with both of her hands, and she had been doing so for a while. I n spite of all of her strange behavior that day , he was being extremely patient with her, and it made Sierra’s heart heavy.

"Are you talking to yourself now?" Jamey laughed playfully. Veronica could feel his eyelashes move beneath her hands, like he wanted to open his eyes, and she urged Sierra to step in and take her place while she had a chance, to finally kiss the boy that this whole charade had been orchestrated for.

“I just need to psyche myself up for this,” Veronica explained, waiting on the other girl to gather her courage.

But Sierra only shook her head vigorously and dusted off the dirt her clothes had picked up from her time hiding beneath the car. 

She imagined she saw Dan in the corner of the parking lot, his phone recording her for one of his vlogs. Maybe she’d end on MTV and have to explain herself to Nev and Max. Or maybe one of Dan’s personal statement essays for college admissions would be titled  _ My Friend Was a Catfish _ , and he’d write about how he’d been the voice of reason for his Troubled Friend. It’s not like he would ever  _ actually _ do anything of the sort, but for some reason, it was what was circling around in Sierra’s mind as she contemplated deceiving Jamey for what seemed like the thousandth time—and now in probably the creepiest way yet .

But ultimately her conscience won out, and although she was ashamed to admit this was even a factor in deciding to continue her trickery, she also realized that she didn’t exactly  _ know _ how to kiss and the thought of putting her sloppy, inexperienced mouth anywhere near Jamey’s was a source of true panic.

“I’m gonna go,” she mouthed to Veronica, and she walked far away enough that she could no longer hear the other two. She saw that Jamey gently removed the hands on his face, and after some talking, Veronica kissed him on the cheek. His smile was the last thing Sierra saw before she turned around and went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the title from a post on tumblr by @diazwrites so credit to them!


	2. Sierra Burgess Is a She-Devil with Questionable Morality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sierra questions what the hell she's doing with her life, and Veronica invites her to a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the actual movie:
> 
> Veronica: I only les out at parties.  
> Also Veronica, later, in literally the same scene: Sierra, let’s go to a party.

Once Sierra was freshly showered and nestled in the soft cocoon of blankets she called a bed, she heard her phone vibrate. She instinctively grabbed it and checked her notifications. Then she mentally chastised herself for being, for lack of a better term, so obsessed, and then scolded herself again for being disappointed that it was not the object of her obsession who'd texted her, but Veronica instead.

 _What happened back there?_  the text read.

And then, _I only pecked his cheek_.

 _I'm not angry about that_ , Sierra responded, surprised that Veronica had even taken her feelings into consideration. If a year ago someone had told her that this would be the case, that the Regina George of her high school would be something like her closest friend, she would have never believed them. Their newfound friendship still felt like unknown territory at times, a place she could easily lose her footing in.

_I just think it's time I tell him the truth._

Maybe it was because she'd been hiding beneath a car and lying on the ground, but Sierra felt dirty. All the lies and half-truths she'd told up to this point were eating her up, and kissing Jamey would have been the point of no return. If she was going to kiss him, she'd decided, it was going to be real and honest and _good_ and he was going to see _her_ and not the convoluted version of herself that she'd constructed. Or the convoluted version of herself which she had become, the one who played with falsehoods as the boy she liked smiled and talked about stars.

When had she become this person?

As if on cue, she received another text.

_I had a great time on our date tonight. Sweet dreams (:_

She didn't have the heart to respond.

 

* * *

 

 

"You ever think the guidance counselor should be fired?" Dan asked. He was writing the answers to their mitosis packet at rapid-fire speed. It was all stuff they'd learned last year in AP Bio anyway and the only reason he was taking this introductory Physiology course was because, like Sierra, he wanted to pad his schedule.

"I saw someone come out of her office _crying_ ," he continued. "Like, straight up - Hey, are you even listening?"

"What?" Sierra said, finally snapped out of her thoughts.She didn't know how to escape this mess without hurting anyone, without hurting Jamey—or herself.

"Why so pensive today? Are things not going well with the new boo who doesn't know you?"

"Shut up," Sierra muttered grumpily, and she snatched the packet from Dan’s hands and began filling more of it out. "Oh look, you got one wrong."

"No, I didn't."

"Oh, but you did!"

"No, I didn't," Dan reaffirmed, sure of himself. Then he raised an eyebrow, his confidence wavering. "Fine, let me see."

He scanned the packet, and after seeing no errors, turned to Sierra with a look of friendly hatred. "Pft, liar," he accused.

At that word, Sierra's smile melted into an expression of distaste. She couldn't even mess around with Dan without her guilt creeping in.

 "If you were going to kiss a girl you liked and you closed your eyes to do it," she began abruptly, "how would you feel if it was a completely different girl when you opened them back up?"

Dan immediately broke into laughter, but upon seeing Sierra's worried face, he suppressed it.

"You know how that sounds, right?" he asked, genuine concern growing in his voice. "If this was reversed - Wait, you didn't _actually_ do this, did you?"

Sierra shook her head no. But she felt like the action was much too resolute, that it gave her too much credit. It didn't show the fact that she'd almost gone through with it, or the fact that one of her reasons for not doing so had been the stupid desire to be a good kisser.

"Well, it's good you didn't," Dan said. "Don't let Veronica turn you into another she-devil with questionable morality."

"She isn't like that," Sierra corrected. Sure, Veronica had played a large part in this scheme, but somehow her wrongdoings paled in comparison to Sierra's. Maybe it was because Sierra expected more of herself than she did of her enemy-turned-friend and the relentless taunts and name-calling that stained their past were still fresh in some dark part of her mind. At one point in her sophomore year, when the harsh words had been especially cutting and cruel, she'd firmly convinced herself that Veronica operated on another level of ethics that regular, decent humans couldn't understand.

In any case, in her mind, it was herself, Sierra Burgess; _she_ was the she-devil with the questionable morality, the one who needed to set things right.

 

* * *

 

It was seven o’clock but it felt like it was 3 AM and they were talking while submerged in absolute silence, Veronica sharing secrets about loss and family and pain. She articulated her words with a precise sort of calmness that indicated there was a lot more depth to what she was saying. In Jamey’s words, her voice sounded almost full.

Both girls were lying in Veronica’s bed, the lights in the room casting a hazy pinkish-purple glow on their skin. Veronica looked especially flawless, like she was painted in light, and Sierra almost had trouble looking directly at her face if she got too close.

“Anyway, I can’t believe you didn’t kiss Jamey,” Veronica mentioned, poking at the other girl’s leg. She was an expert at carrying a conversation forward, smoothly gliding from one subject to the next without the weighty nature of the topics getting in her way. For some reason, Sierra had a similar sensation to the one she’d had when she’d talked to Jamey on the phone for the first time. Like the night would go on forever.

“' _And isn't it a bad thing to be deceived about the truth, and a good thing to know what the truth is?’_ ”

“Are you quoting Socrates to me right now?”

“Plato.”

Veronica grimaced in annoyance and Sierra let out a soft sigh as she grabbed a pillow and hugged it.

“I know you’re, well, _you_ , but don’t you...feel bad about what we’re doing?” she wondered.

“I really appreciate the subtle bitchiness of what you just said. Looks like I'mteaching something to you too,” Veronica quipped, snapping the knee fabric of Sierra’s pants back at her.

“You’re ruining my pants.”

“Well, you _do_ need new ones.”

Sierra let go of the pillow in her arms and flicked the other girl’s knee in return. It didn’t seem to bother her at all.

“I should probably get ready. I’m going to a party,” she singsonged, getting up and sitting at her vanity. “Do you want to come?”

“Like, together? In public?” The thought of this amused Sierra endlessly.

“Yeah,” Veronica confirmed, raising a carefree shoulder. She offered Sierra her straightener as an invitation and Sierra, intrigued, took it.

“Come help me do the back.”

“I thought this was for me.”

“No, you look better with wavy hair. It fits whatever...look you were going for”—she couldn’t compliment without her trademark snarkiness—”Now, come here. Let me teach you how to do a curl.”

“With a _straightener_ ?”

“Mhmm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I *am* trying to write slowburn, but I've never actually written slowburn, so this could totally crash and burn aaaaaa. Also thanks to everyone who commented in the first chapter!


	3. Sierra Burgess is an Emotional Drunk (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sierra goes to a party, has a bit of fun, and finds out Spence is an absolute fuckboi.

For the first time in a long time, Sierra was having pure, unadulterated, guilt-free fun. Even though she'd never been to a real party before, she somehow didn't feel out of place at this one. Just a second ago she’d been dancing with a group of random strangers and laughing so hard it hurt. She figured it was probably the alcohol— _definitely_ the alcohol—and the fuck-it attitude that had only recently taken residence in her mind. In fact earlier, she'd turned to Veronica, awaiting some form of instruction about how to act parties, but the blonde had simply smiled like Sierra had done something endearing and said, "Why do you look so nervous? Just go have fun."

And for whatever reason, the advice had worked. The excitement of the night had embraced Sierra completely, taken her under its colorful wings, and if anything went wrong, she knew Veronica was close by, keeping a careful eye on her.

It reminded Sierra of freshman year of high school, when her art class had gone to a museum and Ms. Peters had announced the Buddy System, complete with the assigned pairs of buddies.

_"Your buddy is your best friend for this field trip. You won't go anywhere without your buddy, and you'll both make sure not to get lost."_

Of course, none of the students had liked this idea; to be separated from friends was to be stripped of their identity. Even worse was if they were paired with their polar opposite.

 _“I don’t want to be placed with_ **_her_** _.”_

Sierra had joked to Dan that a more apt name for Ms. Peters' plan was the Bully System. Others complained, too, with one girl even breaking out in fake (but effective) sobs. Ultimately, the whole thing fell apart due to the overwhelming amount of opposition and Sierra's fear of being antagonized by the most popular girl in her grade had—at least temporarily—vanished.

Now, years later, she wondered what would have happened if she'd been forced to be Veronica's buddy for a day. If she'd still end up where she was now, looking through glass walls and staring gratefully at the person entrusted with her well-being. At that point, she was talking to her glittery posse of mean girls. In Sierra's inebriated state, it was hard to read their lips—not like she was any good at it sober, but now it was doubly difficult.

_Jamey's brother is probably pretty good at this._

Veronica caught her looking and gave her a quick smile before being whisked away by some overeager footballers hoping for an Instagram picture. Eventually, Sierra grew bored and swayed her way to the kitchen. Now that she'd let out all her energy, she was in what she thought were the best parts of drunkenness, all slow and languid, somehow graceful. When she made her way through groups of people, she imagined she was expertly maneuvering between them. Like some kind of dancer. Luckily, most of the people there were also drunk, so few minded her true, clumsy behavior.

She clung to the kitchen counter to prevent herself from swaying too far, but she couldn't even remember why she'd traveled to the kitchen in the first place. Having anything else to drink, be it water or alcohol, would only dull the sweet spot she was currently in. Her eyelids were growing heavier and heavier by the second...

"Hey, are you having fun?"

It was a girl's voice. Somewhat familiar.

"Mmm," Sierra confirmed. Her eyes were closed, the party's music sweeping over her. It was obvious that someone new had taken over the music selection. Soft pop flowed from the speakers.

"Honestly kind of surprising," the girl admitted. "But good."

Sierra didn't feel like opening her eyes, but she concluded the mystery girl was probably Veronica. Who else would talk to her like that? Well, maybe one of the people she was dancing with earlier, but probably not. Everyone else was just a stranger.

"How'reyou?" Sierra mumbled, pointing a limp hand towards the girl's voice. Apparently it was a bad move because she'd let go of the counter and her balance was thrown off completely.

"Sierra - Oh!"

Yup, it was Veronica.

And her hand. Outstretched in a futile effort to pull Sierra up before she fell. Instead, there was a thud. And two people on the floor instead of one.

"Holy shit. Are you okay?" She dusted off her knees and offered Sierra a hand for the second time that night.

"I'm _really_ drunk," Sierra laughed, standing up and immediately interlocking arms with Veronica before letting gravity best her again. Veronica was laughing _hard_ and the two shared a few giggles.

"This is like that Maya Angelou quote," Sierra muttered, chuckling.

"You _know_ I don’t know what you’re talking about."

They headed back to the living room, where Veronica gently sat Sierra down. The couch would've been a better option, but the only free spot was a tiny space next a couple who was making out a bit too enthusiastically.

"Okay, so you need water because you're a total hot mess right now. I'm going to get you something. Do _not_ move."

Sierra threw up an OK symbol and winked.

"Ugh, you're so weird when you're drunk."

And she walked away with an amused smile on her face. There were crumbs - probably from the fall - stuck on her backside and a few small scratches adorning her arm.

"Yeah, dude. I told Veronica she was dumb so she'd get all insecure and finally let me tap that."

"Oh my god, you're a fucking legend, man."

The words were coming from the adjoining room. Sierra was so dumbfounded and disgusted at the exchange that she felt laughter bubbling up in her throat. Were people really like this? How could Veronica like someone so...fucked up? The pair came out of the room as Sierra contemplated challenging them to a fight.

"Hey, you need some help getting up?" It was Spence's yes-man talking. His words sounded more suggestive than helpful.

"No," Sierra said curtly, turning to Spence. A bright idea suddenly popped into her head. "But Veronica's, like, looking for you."

Spence elbowed his friend like, _hey, listen to this_ , a smug expression plastered on his face. He looked much too proud for being so sleazy.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. "Where is she?"

"The pool."

"Thanks, Molly Ringwald." He adjusted his jacket collar and sped off. His friend followed suit, flicking one of Sierra's curls before leaving. _Assholes._

She played with the carpet while waiting for Veronica to return, shifting it from light to dark. Hopefully, Spence wouldn't think to look for her anywhere besides the pool. To think that she'd had put in hours of work just to impress this idiot. After a lot of waiting, Sierra feared he’d found Veronica anyway.

 _Hey,_  she texted, _avoud spence cant explain right noq._

_*avoid_

_*can’t_

_*now_

_Just dont go to the pool._

No response.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be a lot more exciting (maybe a kiss will be involved hint hint, wink wink - and Spence won't be a part of it, just sayin').
> 
> And here's the quote that Sierra was talking about:
> 
> "I knew immediately that she wasn't laughing at me. Or rather that she was laughing at me, but it was something about me that pleased her."  
> \- Maya Angelou


	4. Sierra Burgess Is an Emotional Drunk (Part Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sierra tries to find her way at the party, makes a drunken phone call to Jamie, and confesses to Veronica that she hasn't had her first kiss.

If someone were to ask Sierra how she ended up at the neighboring house's pool, she wouldn't know how to respond.

Or rather, she would, but she'd feel embarrassed to explain that she 1.) mistook the general directions of left and right, 2.) walked through bushes that clearly served as separators between the two properties, and 3.) had seemingly led Veronica straight into an awful situation. Her warning messages were receiving no reply, and her ability to stand had become seriously hindered by this point.

But she had water, a whole gallon she'd pulled out of the fridge earlier, because she'd figured she'd probably need it if she was going to try to walk around again without splitting her head open and dragging everyone down with her.

And then when she tasted the water, she realized it wasn't even water—it was milk. The one percent kind.

This was the last straw.

Her eyes started watering, and the pool lights went blurry. The party's music was too loud and she wondered if her parents were worried about her, had even noticed her absence, if Dan was pissed she'd blown him off. She wished Veronica was with her—or that Spence was, so she would at least have some peace of mind knowing that he was where Veronica _wasn't_.

So she cried, full-on wet sobs, nose running fast. No one was there, at least, so she didn't have to worry about keeping up appearances. Not like she felt she had much of an appearance to keep up anyway.

And because of the alcohol, or because she was _exhausted_ ,  she stumbled over her own feet and fell on the dry concrete floor. Gravity, two; Sierra, zero. She landed hands-and-knees, feeling rivulets of tears and snot gather at the tip of her nose and fall. She noticed there were also ants around her, the biting kind. They looked like little moving red blobs, like miniature versions of herself. She picked one and she flicked it. Then she turned herself over, her back on the floor, and heard old leaves crunching beneath her, getting tangled in her hair.

_Whatever._

The sky was dark and starless, nothing to be seen except for the occasional airplane. It was because of all the light pollution.

_People get good things and then they always ruin them._

She let herself think of Jamey again. Was he sleeping? Was he also staring at a blank sky?

Like everything else she’d done regarding him, she decided to call Jamey on an impulse. Tell him the truth. After all, there wasn't anything else to do, and she had to ride out this sudden surge of courage as far as it would take her.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

"Veronica?" he said, sleep in his voice.

"Listen, I like you," she told him. "I really really _really_ like you."

A sound like air coming out of Jamey’s nose sounded from Sierra's phone, a nice sound. Like a laugh but not quite. He was probably smiling.

"Yeah, I like you—"

"I've been...lying to you," she confessed. The tears were back, streaming down her cheeks. "I've—"

Then her phone was swiftly snatched out of her hand. Veronica.

"Are you drunk?" Jamey asked. Sierra could hear it, the concern, from her position on the ground.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm kind of—I'll actually talk to you about it later, okay? Promise," Veronica told Jamey, and she ended the call without hearing his reply. Sierra sat up, swiping the tears off her face.

"I was looking for you, and Spence said something. And did you get my texts?"

"Why do you have a gallon of milk with you?"

Sierra let out a too-loud chuckle. "I was just about to tell Jamey—"

"He doesn't want to hear it like that, while you're all drunk and crazy," Veronica assured her. "And you don't want to tell him like that, trust me."

"I won't be able to tell him any other way."

"We can both tell him—we _should_ both tell him. You asked me earlier if I feel bad about lying to him, and like, duh, I feel bad. And telling him like this would only make you feel better and do nothing but confuse _him_."

"When did you get so wise?"

"When I had to learn to deal with shitty people." Sierra wasn't sure if she was referring to Spence. "And get up. There are, like, five million ants on the floor."

The two moved to the house's outdoor patio set but decided to sit on a nearby patch of grass instead. The ground was cool and the slightest bit damp, but it was nicer than anything else. It looked like the house's owners had gone on vacation because everything was a bit dusty and generally unkempt.

"Why are you even here?" Veronica inquired. Her words gave Sierra major déjà vu, and she involuntarily twitched.

_Why are you even here?_

Veronica looked into her eyes. "You alright?"

Sierra waved her worries away with a hand. It was all in the past. Veronica certainly didn’t seem to remember it.

"You never came back and you weren't in the kitchen so I went looking for you. Because of what I heard Spence say." She awaited some sort of reaction from the girl beside her, some indication that she knew what she was talking about, but her face was emotionless. "And I got lost and... sort of lost it too."

She laughed but soon found her eyes tearing up again. This time, silent tears. She groaned.

" _Ugh._ Why is this happening?"

Veronica put her arm around her and squeezed tight. "I was in the bathroom when you went looking for me, by the way."

Sierra didn't notice at first, but Veronica's nose was red and her eyes were wet. So she _did_ know about Spence. Something must have happened, but she didn’t want to prod.

"He’s an asshole," she told her. “You deserve better, Ronnie.” And she softly removed Veronica's arm from around herself and grasped her hand tightly within her own. And they remained like that for a while, leaning against each other.

 

* * *

 

 

"What about tutoring? You can't ground me from tutoring."

Her mother relented. "Fine. Tutoring is okay. But other than that..."

"Sierra, I really don't understand why you'd come home drunk. You've never done anything like this before," her father scolded.

"Well, isn't it a good thing I came home at all? All the parenting books say—"

Her mother shook her head, disappointment settling in the lines of her face. "Honey, do you know what kind of kids go to a party and get drunk? Kids with low self-esteem. Sierra, do you have low self-esteem?"

Sierra swallowed but said nothing. _Do you even know me?,_ she thought.

“R-E-S-P-E-C-T,” her mother reminded her, but Sierra had already tuned her out.

 

* * *

 

 

After Mrs. Thomson had likened her to Emily Dickinson and praised her for her supposed ‘unparalleled literary genius’, Sierra had to concede that she hadn’t actually _written_ anything yet. No poem at all. It turned out that that week was full of firsts for Sierra, because normally, this would be nightmare situation. But she was going to graduate soon and the teachers generally stopped being so nitpicky towards the end of the year.. She thought maybe she could spin one of her mother’s ridiculous acronyms into something legitimate, try to pull it off as an acrostic poem or something, but she decided she would rather get no credit than perform a pointless mess in front of the class.

And then there was the fact that Jamey hadn’t texted anything since the call yesterday. It was radio silence between them. Maybe he was giving her space.

“You’re in that big head of yours way too much,” Dan said. They were walking through the school’s corridors, but Sierra seemed to be somewhere else. “You’re not even listening to me.”

“Sorry, I had a long night at a party with Ronnie.”

Dan looked even more offended than before. “ _Ronnie?_ You went to a whole-ass party? _With Veronica?_ You told me we couldn’t hang out because it was an ‘early night’. Pshh.”

“It wasn’t that fun, if it makes you feel better.”

“I mean, it _does_.”

“And then that guy she liked said some stuff about manipulating her so he could ‘get in her pants’ or whatever. It was just messed up.”

“Y’all are hanging with the wrong—”

Then _Ronnie_ showed up and motioned Sierra off to the side. “We need to talk,” she announced seriously, and Sierra nodded and followed her down the hall, in the opposite direction of where she was originally going.

“What the hell?” Dan called after them. “We were having a conversation!”

“Ignore Dan,” Sierra said, dismissing him with a hand. “He’s just angry because I’ve been kind of M.I.A. with him. What’s up? Is it Spence?”

Veronica shook her head, her mouth tense at the mention of her ex-boyfriend, and showed Sierra her phone. The screen was on her Instagram notifications; too many to count.

“What? Did you reach a thousand followers?”

“I have _way_ more than a thousand followers,” she reported matter-of-factly. “But look at this here. Jamey followed me.”

Sierra didn’t say anything, but then, laughingly, “I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, Ronnie.”

“I think it means he doesn’t expect what’s coming. Why would he follow me, if he thought I was going to dump him? I mean, after that _weird_ call I saved you from, he should be expecting that. But he isn’t.”

“Then I guess it’s time to tell him the truth.”

“Come over later, okay? It’s almost time for class and I don’t need any more crap from teachers in my life.”

 

* * *

 

 

This time they were outside. Veronica’s sisters were practicing for a pageant dancing competition, of course, being as loud as they possibly could, and their mother was coaching them through it. She even had a whistle, which she made clear she was not afraid to use.

It was decided that the only peace to be had was away from them, in the backyard. Veronica brought out a purple sheet for them to sit on. Vibrant green grass covered every square inch of soil, and there were four sets of stone planters placed throughout, though none of them housed any plants.

“My mom used to garden,” Veronica mentioned. _“Before_.”

“Must have looked pretty.”

“It did! Actually, one time me and Spence—”

She tugged at a strand of grass that was tickling at her ankle. “One time he and I tried to plant tomatoes because my mom used to. And somehow it actually worked.”

“What happened to them?”

“My mom uprooted them, and sold them to one of her friends. I couldn’t be bothered to take care of them, back then, so it made sense.”

For a while, there was comfortable silence between them. They were both reading, breathing, turning pages. It had become something like a tradition.

“Do you miss him?”

Veronica looked up from her book, and folded the corner as a bookmark. Sierra cringed internally, remembering an earlier exchange of theirs.

_“Having an ugly book just means it’s been loved. Like when you have a makeup palette and your favorite shade is obliterated. Or how your favorite shoes are the most used ones.”_

_“Actually, it’s book abuse. If you’re gonna dog-ear my books then at least only do it on the paperbacks. The hardcovers are special.”_

“I’m not sure if you’re referring to my _father_ or to Spence, but the answer is still the same—I don’t.”

Sierra wasn’t sure if laughing was appropriate, but she did it anyway. They were at that stage of friendship where it didn’t matter, where they couldn’t hurt each other but also so easily could.

“What did you have in common with him? Spence, I mean.”

“What do you have in common with Jamey?” Veronica countered. “Nothing and everything. He used to be nicer. And our relationship was more physical anyway.”

“Oh,” was all Sierra could manage.

“Why are you suddenly so quiet? I mean, you must’ve had boyfriends.” Sierra said nothing but her expression gave it away. “Wait. Does this mean—when the kiss with Jamey—that’s why? You haven’t kissed anyone? Not even, like, _Dan?_ ”

“I would never, first of all,” Sierra declared. “And no, I haven’t kissed anyone.” The wind picked up and blew her hair out place. Veronica helped her smooth it down, tucked a strand behind her ear.

“Do you want to?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This one came out longer and faster than I expected (heh, heh, that's what she said). I kinda deviated from the organization of the actual movie because I needed to have the last scene be there. Sorry not sorry. Also, did y'all know Sierra calls Veronica Ronnie in the *actual* movie. Like, I completely missed that when I first watched it. Anyway~~ thank you for any comments and/or kudos. I really appreciate it. It feels weird not to comment back, but I feel like it would get repetitive af, so I ain't gonna do that. But really, thank you, thank you. So much. I treasure them all.
> 
> Also I know I promised a kiss in this chapter, but since it came out twice the size of a regular one, I decided to end it where I did. To keep the suspense and all.


	5. Sierra Burgess Is A Decent Kisser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Veronica teaches Sierra how to kiss, Jamey shares some important news, and the girls have a strange moment together. 
> 
> Alternatively, just gals bein' pals.

_ “Do you want to?” _

Sierra wanted to make sure she wasn’t misinterpreting anything. “With you? Like—like a getting-it-over-with type of thing?” 

“If you want to. Yeah.” Veronica was doing that thing again. Shrugging one of her shoulders. Acting completely nonchalant. She was even eyeing her book like she wanted to get back to whatever spot she’d left off, her eyelashes casting shadows on her cheeks. If Sierra didn’t know any better, she might have speculated that the avoidance of eye contact was because Veronica was trying to rein in whatever it was that she was feeling, because she also felt anxious. But it was a ridiculous thought, so Sierra didn’t even allow herself to think it.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” she said redundantly, because she didn’t know what else to say. Her heart was picking up in her chest, and she would later tell herself that this had been due to the thought of kissing in general and not due to the specific thought of kissing  _ Veronica.  _

“We’ve established that. But if you’re too nervous—”

“No, I mean, teach me.” Sierra nodded with resolve.  _ What does it matter? _ Her chances with Jamey were irreparably broken, and Veronica didn’t seem to think that the situation they were currently in was weird or even particularly significant. It was just a lesson, kissing between friends—and what were they if not friends? “I want to learn.”

“Okay.” Her shoulder was up again, shrugging, and she said her ‘okay’ like it was a ‘sure’. And so she got closer to her protégé, both of them sitting criss-cross.

Although Sierra’s nerves were acting up, she knew that she would be uncomfortable and altogether unwilling to do this with anyone else. All of the studying and talking, the lying in bed next to each other—hell, even the eyebrow plucking—it was the most intimate that she’d been with another human being in practically her entire life. She was almost certain that the feeling was not mutual. How could it be? Veronica was the rose, and everyone picked the roses. But, really, she couldn't say for sure, not after getting to know Spence and Veronica’s family and,  _ ugh, _ her friends.

She wondered if Veronica had ever kissed someone like her before. Someone of the sunflower variety. Sierra’s first mistake was assuming that she hadn't.

Her second was that she was expecting some sort of preamble to the whole thing, a ‘let’s begin’ or ‘we’re starting’, or just  _ anything _ to serve as signal of ‘I’m going to kiss you now’, but it turned out that that wasn’t really Veronica’s teaching style. Not at all—her’s was more of an intensive immersion type of thing.

Without warning, she leaned over to Sierra, her golden ponytail swinging in the light, and she pressed her lips against the other girl’s. She smelled good—like lotion, or skincare, or high-end makeup—although that wasn’t a surprise because she always smelled like she was putting in effort. Sierra, on the other hand—she wondered, distantly, if  _ her _ aroma was of cheap shampoo and thrift store clothes and  _ human.  _ And then her lips—Veronica’s were soft against hers, careful and easy, a thin, uneven coat of the day’s lipstick coming undone. 

Sierra closed her eyes, and because she didn’t know what to do with her hands, she balled them into fists and pressed them down against the blanket, feeling the sharp blades of grass being crushed under her knuckles. Except for that, she was almost frozen, an immovable object. Then she felt Veronica break the kiss for a second and sit close enough to her that their knees were touching. Sierra used the opportunity to release the tension in her body and unfurl her fists. She was messing this up. Wasn’t her first kiss already over?

But then she felt Veronica put both hands on her face and kiss her again. They bumped noses this time and she felt Veronica’s slight smile against her cheeks. Sierra decided to do better this go-around and so she put her hands on Veronica’s waist and tried to reciprocate. Tried kissing back, kissing deeper. It was a gradual thing, slow and picking up, and Sierra felt like pure adrenaline was flowing through her veins. Like she was at the beginning of a run (a  _ good _ run) and hopeful, a warm wind blowing her hair out of place. She tried not to clench her fists again, but she ended up doing so anyway, nervous energy gathering in her hands, half-gripping Veronica and half-bunching up her shirt. Neither of them really seemed to mind, though. 

They bumped noses a few more times but it wasn't as funny anymore, and it occurred to Sierra that it was because she wasn't exactly  _ trying _ . She was just letting it be now, and somehow it felt natural. Her ‘first kiss’ was more like a series of small ones; one, two, three, four, each separated by shifts and movements and half-lidded eyes, seeing the sunset’s glow on Veronica’s sparkly eyeshadow.

And then Sierra’s phone rang, and it was Jamey—his custom ringtone—and Sierra thought,  _ it can’t be anyone else  _ **_but_ ** _ Jamey, _ and she briefly doubted whether she was referring only to the ringtone and not to something else.

She let go of Veronica and said, obviously, “It’s Jamey.”

“Well, pick up!” she urged her, no change in her demeanor, and Sierra did as she was told. Veronica was reading her book again.

“Hey, Veronica,” Jamey greeted, his voice low, crackling in vocal fry. “I know that you wanted to talk but I just—I need to—I don’t know. Ah, why am I being so awkward right now?”

“What I’m trying to say is that there’s gonna be a scout from, like, UCLA at the football game tomorrow, and since I’m the quarterback—”

“Wait, what? That’s amazing, Jamey!"

“Yeah, yeah, I know! And I’m just like,  _ aaah _ , right now, you know? This is kind of… everything to me and… And I wanted to tell you first.”

“That’s really great. And I’m so happy for you! And thanks. For thinking to tell me.”

“Yeah, no, who else would it be? Listen, I have to go, but let’s talk tomorrow, okay? After the game.”

“Mm-hm, okay. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.”

“Bye."

“Love you.” 

He’d said it like it was an afterthought, and Sierra’s heart had skipped a beat. Before she could say anything, Jamey ended the call. She looked back at Veronica and both girls were stunned.

“Um, did he just tell you he loved you? What the—”

“I don't even—Oh, my god! He’s calling back. What do I do? What do I do?”

“Answer it, dummy.”

With a shaky finger, Sierra took the call but there’s was no sound at first. Only hesitation.

“Hello?” she said.

“Oh, uh. It’s-it’s Jamey again. Although, you have caller ID, so why am I even saying that?” He sighed. “Unless you  _ don’t  _ have caller ID, for whatever reason, in which case, hey, surprise, it’s me Jamey. Which I already said. Uhhh… About what I told you just now, I was just excited about my football thing and I say it to my parents all the time so it kind of slipped out, but it was—”

“No, no, I get it.”

“You do?” The worry in his voice was quelled slightly.

“Yeah, I completely understand. It was a slip-up. Actually kind of cute.”

“You can't see me, but I’m actually  _ blushing _ right now. Literally, as we speak. Oh god. I thought I’d scared you off with that, but you’re being so cool about it, and you do not know  _ how much _ I appreciate it. I can't believe I said that. I’m gonna go die now. But I’ll-I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes, but don’t die.”

“Okay,” he chuckled, “for you, I won’t. See you. Sorry.”

“Bye.”

Then the call ended and Sierra tossed her phone away from herself and started giggling like a fool.

“Jamey is  _ so _ smooth,” Veronica said.

“Don't make fun of him. That was so sweet!”

“ _ Love you _ ,” she continued, her voice mocking. “ _ You’re so different from the other girls, Sierra. You’re so special, Sierra.” _

Sierra made a pretend-irritated face at her, trying hard to disguise her smile, but it only prompted the other girl to continue.

“ _ You’re my dream girl, Sierra.”  _ Each time she said something, she got closer to her, more in her face. It was an infallible annoyance tactic she’d learned from her sisters.

“ _ You’re so funny, Sierra. You’re so smart, Sierra. Do you also like animal gifs?” _

“Oh, my god,” Sierra said, in between snickers while leaning away from her. “Shut up. He doesn’t even  _ call me  _ Sierra”

“ _You’re so talented, Sierra._ _I like you_ ** _so_** _much, Sierra."_ Eventually, Sierra fell to the side that she was leaning, and like her sisters did with _her_ , Veronica pinned her down and kept at it. Except that in _this_ situation, both of them were actually laughing.

“ _ You’re nothing how I expected you to be, Sierra. No one understands me but you, Sierra. You’re the first person that—” _

But then Veronica got so close to her that she didn't continue. She had a full view of Sierra’s freckled face. Her waves of flaming red hair and a miniature chip in her tooth which she had only barely noticed. For a split second, the playfulness of it seemed to give way to something vastly different. To Sierra, it felt like they were going to kiss again, and she didn't know how she felt about it. She convinced herself that it was still part of the lesson. Kissing between friends.

But then Veronica gulped and retreated to her side of the blanket, her ponytail whipping to the side. Nothing had happened as far as either of them were concerned.

“Hey, are you getting cold? I think maybe we should head in.” She started gathering her things without hearing Sierra’s response.

“Yeah, it is getting a bit cold,” Sierra agreed after, books in her arms. She was lying. She didn't really know why. “So you really liked it, huh?”

“What?”

“The book I gave you. It looks like you really like it.”

“Oh. Yeah.”   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thx for reading! I hope this was okay. Like I said, I've never written slowburn, so...that's my excuse lmao. I've been winging it from chapter to chapter so it took me some time to plan out what I wanted this one to be. On another note, have y'all noticed that the SBIAL tag on here is populated by—and only by—veronica x sierra fic? You know you could've done better when all of your movie's fanfic is exclusively about a noncanon ship.


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